As soon as you push it…as soon as you GO for it, that’s when it all goes wrong. It always happens…when the GREED gets in you…when you think: “well this is working with $200 so why should it not work with $500?” No. As soon as you get that little bit more greedy than usual, that’s when it all goes Pete Tong.
And you could say: ‘well, if you really believe you can win, then why not play on higher-stakes tables and increase your bets on a similar scale (instead of $10-$300, why not $100-$3000)? You would certainly win more.’ Well, it’s the mind-set. I’m not ready for that. I have never been loaded, never been that…FLIPPANT about money to be able to get my head round losing over $100 every few seconds – on a bad run of cards it can really be that quick – and then have the ability to still remain calm and in an unaltered, concentrated state on the table. For me, sticking $300 or $400 down once in a while is adrenalin enough and I can just about get my head around that at the moment.
Stopping at the right time is still the key though, I mean – take that incident at the Luxor for instance: as soon as I lost full control of myself – let other emotions become involved – that’s when it all went down the pan.
I was still sick about it days after, and I remember that at the time I was suicidal. To get involved like that…it went against everything I had tried to steel myself against. But then a part of me thinks: “well maybe that will end up being a good lesson, you know?” Maybe…and the fact that I was so fucked off is a GOOD sign, otherwise it would show that I didn’t care too much, or was becoming too flippant about money.
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